Most Marry "My Money"

“Being married is the nicest thing to be.”

 I will add to that, “There is a way of transferring funds which is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” Funny but true, isn’t it?

Just few weeks back, I got a call from my close friend Vishal who’s found his soul mate and has plans to get married in next 6 months. He was perplexed about the decision and therefore asked me, “What do you think should be my future financial plan and how should I sync those with my spouse?”

“Sharing and caring becomes life's new motive” said Vishal, he was sharing his perspective of getting into a new relationship and I could understand his feelings. So, I asked him, “Vishal, are you sure that you are fully prepared for this?
My blunt query comes from a noted fact that newly wedded couple are cautiously formal in taking spouse's opinion or sharing views related to their past, present or future financial positions.

 “Of course” he said. “But you can’t view everything from monetary angle” he added.

“But Vishal, what if just to avoid monetary talks with your spouse, you take poor financial decisions which may lead to stress in your personal life?” I replied.  Let me modify a famous tagline of a credit card company for you;

“There is something that money can’t buy. But there are many things that money affects.”

Vishal is an IT professional. When he took his first job, he was extremely excited to spend his first salary on buying new gadgets for himself, but eventually he started saving most of it. He would save for his own marriage and his younger sister. I highlighted that being a compulsive saver for marriage has turned this spendthrift into an avid saver. “I can bet you Vishal, after marriage you will start saving for your child.”

“Saving is into Indian blood, the methods and instruments might differ”. Though Vishal was adamant on his belief, “spending lavishly on your wedding shows how happy you are. I broke my years of savings into FDs, mutual funds and equity stocks as well” he stated. I thought to myself such are the acts that makes marriages world’s most destructive thing against personal wealth and savings.

Emotion and monetary decisions should be guided by a strict thin line in between.

High earning youngsters like Vishal take huge financial steps counting on their future income, which in itself is unpredictable. His mid aged parents were also digging into their savings which will put his sister’s education at stake, also eventually jeopardising their retirement plans. Business community might argue to rescue themselves by saying that they do it to utilise the undeclared (black) money on such events and to off course earn some social brownie points as well.

“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.”

Finally the day arrived, Vishal got married to Swati. And now everyone’s eye was on their honeymoon destination plan. “Foreign destination honeymoon, expensive gifts, spending on movies, eateries and so on, to please spouse are the recent trends” said Vishal. I don’t deny them at all, until they result in increased credit card commitments, travel loans, loans from friends and other such pinches.

“Vishal, I insist you should discuss financial matters with Swati and make proper financial maps to cover all kinds of foreseen and unforeseen expenses with proper funds allotted to these small fun activities as well. With a proper pre-planned savings, all the cash crunch and financial stress can be addressed. Getting in a debt trap is not good to deal with, especially at an early stage of married life.

“Marriage is our society’s most pro-child institution. If you want kids to do well, then you want marriage to do well.”

Few years later, Vishal and Swati were DINKS(double income no kids) and hence booked their second car and were also planning to shift, to a spacious flat, at a prime location in Mumbai suburb. This off course will cost them High EMIs and loan liabilities. I expressed my views to Vishal, saying these can be risky sometimes, in case if Swati wants to take a break to raise a child or the risk of you losing your job. Instead, chart out a plan which will help in lower interest outgo and higher savings in the initial years, leading to some good fortune in the golden years. Joint income can be invested in well planned and target linked financial product.

Poor decisions in the past do affect future good decisions.

Always keep this tag line in your pocket, I suggested Vishal.

Actually the problem is we find it difficult to discuss money as “mine” and “yours” and it is because money is very personal to each person who earns it and therefore attitude of each one can be different. Hence, I suggest that there should be proper planning about who should be paying EMIs and loans and who should be investing in common saving pool. If it’s a joint family then “Are the younger members of the family taking part in investing for their parent’s future health care, rent and housekeeping needs?” Most families start with mutual trust, kindness and goodness but end up fragmented due to lack of sensible spending and poor financial planning. Having been able to face and win over these changes can be the most worthwhile decision of your life.

“Marriage is like a fine wine, if tended properly, it just gets better with age.”

So dear all, to sum up, I just want to mention, that everyone needs a friend, a mentor, a guy next door, to play the role of a financial advisor. Many of you don’t want to share your financial whereabouts with your parents, spouse, friends, and relatives. Hence, you end up taking decisions on your own. Having someone on your side can be useful and monetarily benefiting as well. It can be your sibling, spouse, friend, chartered account, tax advisor or an uncle. Access your financial strength, knowledge, capability and most importantly your “Buddy”.